Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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