My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
