dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
