its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
