Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
