let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
