Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
