that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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