I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
