fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
