Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
