I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
