hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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