Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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