doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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