you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
