a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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