I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like a drive thru vagina
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
