i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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