No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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