Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
