shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
