I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
