Got a toothbrush?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
