I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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