I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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