so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
