Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
