Can Purell be used as lube?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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