I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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