I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
