I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
