Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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