just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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