dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
