wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just puked most of my soul out..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
