I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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