He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
not ubering you a puppy
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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