just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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