His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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