Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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