i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
