My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
