Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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