she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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