So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
