Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
