i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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