If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
a search helicopter?!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
