ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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