you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
