The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
