Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
