Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize