I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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