So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize