i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
